Tuesday, June 28, 2016

42 lbs of Stress

Waking up today, my heart was racing with anxiety and excitement, my body felt waves of nerves and adrenaline rushing throughout, and so many questions and anticipation filling up my mind - these were the symptoms of having nineteen hours remaining until the departure for Philadelphia. There was so much I still needed to take care of. As soon as the reality hit me, I began feeling overwhelmed and stressed as I was since before the weekend where I have been preparing and double checking I had everything in my luggage and that I have received everything needed. 

I did my morning routine of getting prepared for the day and began working at arranging the luggage Don had lent me once more. I had been worrying all day whether I packed too much, or if I left some things would I regret not bringing it later, or if my check-in bag is under 42 lbs, even about compeleting my summer assignments for when I go back to Pinole Valley at the end of August. I then took deep breaths, no more like large gasps of air, to calm myself down, which worked, eventually. What helped me the most wass thinking positive things about the future I am about to embrace in the East Coast - the people, relationships, environment, experience, independence, and what we all need to survive, food. There is so much more suprises in store that I have not even thought about until it actually happens to me. This is the mentality that helped strengthen me throughout my day.

Sooner than I knew it I got what I needed done, with some much needed breaks in between. I still believe that I packed too much but am too scared to try leaving some items behind, especially my 3 oz hair and skin care bottles, I have maybe a good six to ten bottles to last me the whole time, they're all different products of course except my lotion and body wash I have two bottles for each; I enjoy being clean and having hydrated skin. 

Despite all of the negativity that I practiced blocking out, I am extremely eager for the trip. The closer and closer the hours pass by, the feeling I had when I first woke up with, keep increasing to a higher level every time my mind began focusing on it, and that's not hard to think about since it will be my first ever experience leaving home without any of my family, traveling out of state, and going on an airplane. The experience is so surreal it's sometimes breath-taking how I came this far to begin with let alone what I will encounter and bring back with me - the knowledge, new relationships, and so much more. The main results I will be trying my hardest to pay attention to is the person I am leaving as and the person I become coming back to California. That is where I show solid proof that the Ivy League Connection, Social Justice Research Academy at the University of Penn, and my time there is life changing. 

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